Jabober

Today is the last day of 2005. Starting tomorrow, my gym's class sizes will double with all the new workout resolutions that people have declared for themselves. It happens every year. It usually lasts about a month, then class sizes go back to their original shape. A few people who started their routines in January will stick around through February, some might even become regulars. But if this year is like any other year, most people who sign up in January stop going to the gym soon after.

What's the point of a New Year's resolution? Just deciding one day that I'm going to be a different person won't work. I don't do resolutions for this reason. I don't resolve to be a different person starting today, or starting on Jan. 1st.

Instead, I prefer to evaluate things on a daily basis, or weekly basis and see if there needs to be a slight change here, or a slight change there. Rarely have arbitrary "big changes" ever stuck (not to say I haven't tried). For some people they might have the personality that needs big change to get them off their duff. For me, big change just means big potential for disappointement. And a whole lot of guilt when it doesn't work.

I also don't like resolutions because so many times, it's resolutions to do things we really, deep down, don't want to do. Quit this, start that, etc. We feel we "should" do it, but we don't want to. If we really wanted to, we'd have already started or already quit. No, I prefer to wait until I've come to an enthusiastic decision to start something or to quit something. Personal change just won't stick if deep down I don't want to change. And, if deep down I do want to change, I'll already be making headway in that direction anyway - I don't need a resolution.

So, tomorrow, I have no resolutions. I'm actually pretty darn happy where I am, I don't feel like I need any major changes in my life, nor do I feel that tomorrow is a particularly good day to start any changes I'd like to make. But I'll be at the gym Tuesday, greeting all the new people with smiles, encouraging them to find what they love and to work out because they enjoy it. If a person enjoys her workouts and enjoys being active, then she won't need to make a new year's resolution in order to get off her duff. She'll get off her duff because she wants to.

Posted by Tammy at 09:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I got an iPod shuffle for Xmas today. (woot Yoshi!) I spent a couple of hours populating it with music. I had a little trouble with it freaking out if I tried to do too many commands at once (move music, play music and switch folders), but otherwise it was an easy process.

I put about 100 songs on it. That’s a little less than half of what it can hold. I wore it around for a bit to test it. With the earphones securely in place, I held this oversized stick of gum in my hand, waiting for music to come out.

When the music started, I jumped a little. I stared down at the Shuffle, which is about half the size of my cell phone, and marveled at how sound miraculously comes out of this tiny thing.

I suppose that it’s really not that amazing; our digital camera stores all the picture information on a memory card that’s much smaller than the Shuffle. But somehow, holding this nearly naked, interface-less miniature white rectangle in my hand, and hearing sound come out of it, made me feel like a technology savvy giant.

Cameron and Allison got their own Disney mp3 players. The first songs they requested for their new audio devices – Katamari Damacy. They sat for a long time, staring out at nothing, as Katamari played for their ears only. It was a day full of awe and wonder.

Oh, and I got Yoshi a gaming keyboard. The keys are backlit. And, he has a million extra buttons. (Just as I wrote that, Yoshi piped up with, “Oh ya, this keyboard is friggin awesome.” I just checked, he’s not drooling.) For Megan, she has a new baby and shopping cart, with a basket full of pretend food. Baby stuff is ten times as cute when it’s surrounded by technology.

We got a lot of other neat stuff from family members. Tomorrow will be the day of clean up and “where the hell do we put everything?”, while trying to fend off the kids who want to open all the boxes right now and play everything at one time. Should be fun. Xmas recovery is the best part, right?

Posted by Tammy at 10:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From our family to yours - Merry Christmas.



Click here for a printable version of this picture. (2meg file)

Posted by Tammy at 07:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I bought my first iTunes song yesterday. I paid .99 for Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day. I don’t plan on getting the album, I really like the song, so I decided to buy it.

I searched around and listened to a lot of song demos. I didn’t find anything else that was compelling enough to pay .99 for. I did, however, realize there were a few albums I want. So I put them on my Amazon wish list.

After I left the iTunes store, I felt a little dirty.

But, I’m really happy I have the song on my computer now, and I can listen to it whenever I want to. Nyah.

Posted by Tammy at 07:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

May you be touched by his noodly appendage.

Posted by Tammy at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This week, Cameron and Allison are going to the MyGym winter camp from 1-4 in the afternoon. Not by coincidence, Megan usually naps around 2-4. Today, Megan fell asleep on the way home from dropping the kids off. She decided to take a nice 2.5 hour long snooze.

So, as a result, I had 2.5 hours to myself today. The time went by in a flash. I decided to pop on one of our rated R Netflix movies while responding to some emails and doing other work with Lappy in my lap.

I ended up watching Sideways with Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church. Going into the movie, I had no idea what it was about. It was a little slow in the beginning, but right away I noticed that the cinematography was unique. The movie wasn’t funny, or sad, or all that dramatic. But somehow it still had a compelling story line, mostly drawn from the great characters and Paul Giamatti’s inner turmoil very colorfully painted by his facial expressions and mannerisms.

For me, some of the best parts of the movie came from two of the subplots: The main character, Miles, is a wine conniseur. Not only that, he’s a writer, who has written his first novel and is trying to get it published. (He is also a school teacher which doesn’t really play out in the story.) He seemed so real to me, because he was able to express the same emotions and fears that I have about writing with such nuance, yet unabashedly.

Although, his wine enthusiasm leads him to getting hammered almost every day in the one-week storyline. He is also an emotional wreck.

I liked the movie, but I didn’t love it. There were a few scenes that left me going, “Well, I coulda lived without seeing that,” and there were a few scenes that were amazingly beautiful (like the scene where Miles explains how to taste wine.)

The movie was nominated for a lot of awards. I don’t know what makes a movie “good” or worthy of an award, but it was interesting and different than most Hollywood movies. I have been thinking about the main character's perspective on writing and a few of the scenes all day. The fact that the movie left an impression enough to leave me pondering on its different messages must mean something good.

Posted by Tammy at 09:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We bought a piano today. A Yamaha, made in 1971. Perfect condition. It fits just right in our living room. The kids were surprised and excited. It has a beautiful sound to it. It feels so nice under the fingers, I feel tempted to start playing again.

Come over and try it out. Or, come over and listen to the kids play.

Posted by Tammy at 06:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, I got my glasses. Still reluctant to admit that they would make a difference, I was surprised just how much clearer the world is around me with them on. I keep taking them off and putting them on to make sure they do something. And yes, they do.

I don't know if it's all in my head but my right eye (the nearsighted one) even seems more relaxed.

Is it odd, however, to have this little window to look through where everything is clear. If I move my eyes up, down, left or right, the world is a tad blurry again. I have to make it a habit to look through the lenses or I'm going to make myself dizzy going back and forth.

Here's my new glasses. What do you think?

Here's a picture Allison took of me. Here's one Cameron took.

Posted by Tammy at 01:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today, at the library, Megan decided to have a tantrum. Now, a two year old having a tantrum is not out of the ordinary, and otherwise not very noteworthy. However, the library is just about the worst place to have a tantrum. It’s right up there with a wedding, a funeral, and a safe-cracking.

So, Megan had a tantrum in the library because Santa gave out cookies at storytime, and mean evil Mommy wouldn’t let her have the cookie until after lunch. She started to scream, and fell to the floor like a sock monkey. I tried to pick her up, then she screamed louder, while twisting and turning trying to wrench herself free.

Quickly assessing the situation, I deftly whipped out my library card and sent Cameron over to the check-out line. Screaming baby still in arms, I directed Allison to push the stroller as we scrambled outside as inconspicuously as possible. I unwillingly managed to get everyone’s attention as I pushed the girls towards the door, gaining a few enemies and a few empathetic friends along the way. Once outside, I let Megan scream and flop on the grass like a fish until Cameron was done checking out the books.

I sighed as I considered this little scene to be complete, but I soon found out that there was more. Oh lucky me, a man came over to offer his help. Dressed with transient un-appeal, he tried to hand me a bag of Fritos. “Maybe she’s hungry. She can have this if she wants.”

Although I appreciated his attempt to help someone when he obviously could not really spare the food that he had, I tried to explain through the screaming that she was mad because I wouldn’t let her have a cookie. He looked at me like I was crazy to deny her food, repeating what I said as if he was trying to understand my words. Then he tried to hand me the chips again.

I said, “I appreciate your gesture, but she’s fine. Really. She’s just mad. She’s not hungry.” Well, she actually was hungry, because we were due for lunch, and that’s why I wouldn’t give her a cookie. But she wasn’t “hungry”, like starving and without food hungry. In other words, she didn’t need a bag of Fritos.

The man, who didn’t look much older than me actually, and who didn’t have the aura of someone who has spent significant time around children, stood there dumbfounded that I wouldn’t accept his gift. I considered the option of taking the bag just to end the uncomfortable interaction when I heard Cameron yell from the library lobby, “MOOOOMMMY, where ARE you?”

Cameron emerged from the library holding up the books and my keys. Annoyed that my oldest son had been yelling in the library, while grateful that he had finally finished with the check out process, I quickly packed the books away and we escaped towards the car. I scooped up my screaming toddler into a football hold so she wouldn’t escape. We were nearly ran over by two cars as I played Frogger in the parking lot. I didn’t care. I only had one thing on my mind – “Get. This. Child. In. The. Car.”

Once in the car, it took me several minutes to settle her down enough to assure her that she was going to get her cookie. She just had to eat her lunch first. Being that two year olds hate being forced to accept delayed gratification, she didn't take to my offer right away. She finally saw a reason to stop crying when I explained that if she kept screaming she would not get her cookie at all. She understood this and saw that I was serious, so off to lunch we went with only a few sniffles along the way.

Next week, I wonder if the library will let us back in. Or, perhaps, the librarian will say, “Congratulations. You’re on the ‘unruly library patrons’ warning list in the staff room. Good job!” and shake my hand. At the very least, I should get some kind of award for my quick exit strategy, and extra credit for my work on avoiding booby traps during our escape. And Cameron should get a medal for learning how to check out library books by himself under duress.

Posted by Tammy at 05:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I have written in earlier blog entries that I love the Thursday Next series. The third book, The Well of Lost Plots, by Jasper Fforde, continues the intricate fantasy of a woman who can leap into the Bookworld, where characters from all the books ever written (published or not) reside and cause trouble.

This third installment spends nearly all of the story delving into a complicated conspiracy to eradicate literary creativity for the ultimate goal of controlling the Outland (real world) book market, which, in this series, is as serious as our modern day movie and TV industry. Money, murder and mayhem riddle the pages, as well as innumerous references to modern culture: There is a bar scene that mimics almost word for word the bar scene in Star Wars, the new book system is called UltraWord™ and the handbook for its users is called Movable Type. I could go on and on describing the ways that Fforde has woven cultural references into his story that is otherwise high fantasy and fantastically implausible.

Although I didn’t enjoy the third book as much as the other two, it is still on the top of the list as a “must read” for anyone who has interest in literature or the quirkiness of modern culture. Fforde is an amazing writer. Even when he tries to write “badly” as an example of rubbish text, he writes well. He can’t help it.

I’m looking forward to the fourth book. There are still a lot of loose ends that need to be tied, and I can’t wait to find out what kind of new knots Jasper Fforde comes up with to get the job done.

Posted by Tammy at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I went to the eye doctor today. The end result? A pair of glasses to correct the nearsightedness in my right eye.

I've never "needed" glasses before. Even as I walked into the optometrist's office, I didn't think that the blurriness in my eye would be as bad as I thought. My friend, Heather, had also told me that since my other eye was near perfect vision, I probably wouldn't need glasses. What I was really worried about, actually, was that I might have glaucoma. My dad has had open-eyeball surgery for it. The idea of wearing glasses pales in comparison to lucid open-eyeball surgery.

Fortunately, all my glaucoma tests came back completely negative. The vision test, however, wasn’t as boring. When the doctor asked me to cover my left eye (the good one) and read the vision chart. I could only read the first line. The rest was a blur. I gasped. I hadn’t realized it was that bad. She switched to my left eye — everything came into full focus.

She fiddled with the lenses, did some stuff, then said, “Ok, now read the chart for me.” The same chart, with a lens, suddenly popped into focus. Relief poured through my eyeball.

I still wasn’t sure if having glasses would help me much, because with both eyes open, I could read the chart without much problem. She handed me a pair of makeshift glasses including my prescription, and suddenly the chart was much clearer. Then she asked me to look into the hallway without the glasses, then with them on. I was genuinely surprised at the crispness of the world around me. “Ok,” I told myself, “maybe wearing glasses might help me a little.”

I got a nice pair of plastic rimmed glasses. The assistant selected two pairs that she thought would look nice. I tried them both on. They looked strange. I tried on about 20 more, but in the end, the first pair she handed me was indeed the best fit.

While she was filling out the paperwork, I looked down at my chart, curious just how bad my right eye was. I expect to seed “completely blind” or some such notation. Instead I saw, “20/40” 20/40!!! That’s it? All this hubbub for 20/40 vision? I was suddenly sympathetic for my family and friends who have very high prescriptions. If I’m freaking out about the little bit of blurriness that I have at 20/40, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have a “strong” prescription.

I came out of the office with a new pair of glasses (that I should get in a week) and a new appreciation for people who have to wear glasses all the time in order to do their daily business.

Posted by Tammy at 10:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Lappy's motherboard died a horrible death. I waited 10 painful days for them to replace it. I got it back and one of the USB ports didn't work. So, I took it back to the Mac Genuis Bar today, and they said that it was a failed circuit on the motherboard - the new one they just put in. This time, they sent it to AppleCare. I'm hoping to see it back in a week.

What are the odds to have two faulty logic boards in a row? If Lappy comes back with yet another broken logic board, I should run out and play Lotto.

Posted by Tammy at 05:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Yoshi still has the German measles. He's a little more human today than he has been the past week. With a big step forward, he got dressed, washed his hair and did some work. He hasn't taken a nap all day. He's exhausted from the effort of being alive and awake, but slowly regaining his normal character.

Yoshi's cousin told us that her friend's wife has measles too. I wonder if it's "going around", and anyone who is not immunized is gonna get it. Are you immunized?

I got Lappy back yesterday. Lappy is still a little sad, but at least it's breathing now. I have to take it back in to the Apple store. One of the USB ports isn't responding at all. I'm hoping it's something quick and easy, like they left a pair of scissors in there.

I'm working diligently to get done what I need to in case they rip it from my hands again for another in-store repair. I also backed up all our pictures and other important documents. Now, if they take it, it will only be an inconvenience since I'll be able to work on the iMac for all my volunteer work. I still don't like the idea though.

It's been a rollercoaster since Thanksgiving. Life does that. It throws everything in at once. Then, it's calm for a while, then again, everything at once. Just gotta ride the bumps, and know that eventually the train will dock back into the station.

I'm looking forward to Christmas and New Year's. It's going to be crazy. It always is. But it's also a time of sharing our love and warmth. It's a time for being together. It's a time for appreciating our lives. I try to do that all year, but December puts it out there, right in your face. I like that about December. I get to be all mushy and nobody minds much.

Can I have a hug?

Posted by Tammy at 05:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I called Apple today to find out how Lappy is doing. The Mac Genius kept me on hold for a long time. I was getting worried. After being on hold for at least 10 minutes, the Genius told me they were looking through the day's shipment to see if Lappy's logic board had arrived.

After an eternity, he came back to tell me that they had my logic board in hand, "craddling it like a baby." I appreciated the Genius's care for Lappy.

He told me it would probably take a couple of days to install it and run tests. I should check back Monday if they haven't called by then.

Now, if only a new motherboard could help Yoshi, that would make my weekend.

Posted by Tammy at 01:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yoshi, being the overachiever that he is, decided that having Bronchitis and month-long coughs was not enough of being sick. Everyone gets coughs. Bronchitis is fairly common. He needed something more.

He somehow managed to contract German Measles.

We don't know how. We don't know where. But he has it. And it is a totally crappy illness. He has one upped us all, and contracted the mother of all uncomfortable diseases.

And, the worst part, is there's absolutely nothing we can do. Well, other than he drinking a pint of vodka or taking sleeping pills to help him wait it out. It's a virus, so they can't give him antibiotics. The Benadryl that was suggested to him by the doctor does little to reduce the symptoms.

All I can do is get out his hair, and give him space to be miserable. Which, as his wife, frustrates me to tears because all I want to do, of course, is nurse him back to health; I can't even hold him in my arms to comfort him because his skin hurts so much.

Fortunately, everyone in the family has been fully immunized. When the kids were receiving their innoculations, I debated with myself whether I was doing the right thing; subjecting them to mercury, and forcing their little bodies to produce antibodies for several diseases all at the same time. Then there is the whole "what causes Autism?" debate that had me worried as well.

Now, knowing that none of us would get the Measles, even though a highly infectious person is living among us, is very comforting. Thank goodness we got all the scheduled immunizations.

So, Yoshi's contracted Measles. He'll get through this. We all will. But I worry. I worry, because I wonder what his next disease will be...

Posted by Tammy at 08:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)